I fail at life today

First off yes, I know fail is not a proper...whatever noun/verb/thingy its called. But today is THAT day.

Second, be warned...there is all sorts of nastiness to follow...I just have to share...I warned you! :)

Eric and I were doing laundry this morning and the ever independent child he is, needed to have the baby gate going to the basement open, instead of being lifted over. Well, lets just say there is a reason we lock the dogs upstairs. Fat dog decided to eat cat poop. This is one time I wish I could understand what the dog is thinking (mmmm, smells like cat crap! yum, crunchy!). At the time I just thought he did, but didn't see it happen, so I wasn't sure.

Fast forward a few hours, and I'm sitting upstairs on the floor folding laundry. Duke starts whimpering beside me, and I start to get concerned. I notice he's awfully drooly/foamy. I poke and prod, but nothing seems off. I text Brett, saying I think something is wrong with him. Maybe he has an upset tummy, so I think of getting up and letting him out. I swear he read my thoughts, because he stands up suddenly. And then the noise...you know. The tell tale sign that they are about to puke. I push him towards the stairs and nastiness explodes. Great...And Brody just woke up crying. There is now puke on three stairs. I have pictures, but I think you all get the visual! :)

Baby can wait so I (facebooked! LOL) grabbed bags, towels, and paper towel. Called Brett (please tell me your in the way home). He laughs at me, and tells me "maybe that's why the dogs aren't allowed downstairs..." I am sure you can imagine what I said him about that. He also deserved a picture of dog puke for that comment! >:(
I have a three year old BEGGING to let him help me...UM NO! I finally get up the courage to tackle the mess, which, by the way, not only smells like dog puke, but cat crap as well! And lets just give another visual here....it was like trying to clean up raw eggs....freaking nasty. I wiped up as much as I could *barf!*, and spray it with vinegar and water, and cover with rags, hoping to keep the smell down until I can borrow my mother-in-law's carpet cleaner.

We decided it was outside time after that.

Brett gets home early (yay), and Diesel's outside just standing there....Great....
I think he felt left out, and ate some grass so he could puke, just to make my day. At least that one was outside! (I know he didn't get into the cat crap...so we are good there.)

After supper I headed into town to grab the floor cleaner from my mother-in-law. She had it outside, and was showing me how thing work and all that. I locked my door at some point, but had my window down. We got the carpet cleaner put into the trunk of my car, closed it, then I realized I didn't know where my keys were. I either had them in Brody's car seat or put them in the trunk. Whew, good thing I left my window open. As soon as I opened my door, OF COURSE my alarms starts going off (duh!).  Mother-in-law runs in to see if the keys are in the car seat (brother-in-law took Brody in while mother-in-law was showing me the cleaner), while I attempted to get my trunk open. Apparently, when you set off your alarm, it disables the manual trunk opener button. *BEEP BEEP BEEP* And, of course, there are a bunch of people outside. *BEEP BEEP BEEP* One lady told me to put the key in the ignition...thanks tips. Not really gonna work when I don't have the keys! *BEEP BEEP BEEP*
OK, so how do I get the keys? My back seats fold down. *BEEP BEEP BEEP* Damit, car seat is in the way. I can get the seat down on Brody's side, as it's just the base. BUT the carpet cleaner is in the way. I would have put the keys right at the back (front?) of the trunk. *BEEP BEEP BEEP* Take out Eric's seat. Pull the back down, and squeeze as far in as I can....no beep beep beep? Grab the keys, and push all the buttons to make sure the alarm is deactivated. Start the car to make sure I am not screwed... Well, that was an adventure.

The rest of the night goes by pretty uneventful (except the baby that is STILL awake at 11pm, thinking I could feed him and he would go right back to sleep, and I might get a bit longer out of him...sigh...)

Other things that I failed at today:

• I burnt Eric's waffle. Eric didn't WANT a waffle. Even though he specifically ASKED for a waffle. BUT he finally ate it...at 11 am, then asked for a snack. SIGH, such is the life with an emotionally insane three year old. (and guess what he asked for for supper? a waffle.)
• The laundry I have gone downstairs 5 times to rinse/wash/rinse is still in the washer....cloth diapers kinda suck sometimes...
• Remembering what else I failed at...I know there was something...

At least the night will end on a good note. I just put Brody in his crib, awake, and he is now asleep. YAY

**EDIT I knew there was something else. This isn't my fail really. But it was REALLY funny. The other day, Brody puked on Eric. I laughed. Hard. This morning, Eric was holding Brody, and the position, well it just allowed for the worst (best) pose for getting puked on. Pretty sure that Brody may have puked in Eric's mouth a little. (OK I might be the only one who thinks thats probably the funniest thing that happened today). I think Brody got a taste for puking on his big bro. And Eric was NOT impressed. (haha, taste. Get it?!).